About a month ago, Aidan, my mom, and I were sitting at my parent's kitchen table, drinking coffee, and chatting. Coffee conversations in our house can quickly take a turn for the deep and meaningful. We talked about life and the value of a good "butt-kicking," and I found myself reflecting about how much I value those experiences. I value the chance to learn from getting knocked down a few times, I value being a little fish in a big pond of people who are smarter than I am, and I believe that if you know where to look, each experience is an opportunity for growth. Let me tell you, that was easier to say a month ago than it is today. 

I'll be honest; I'm getting my butt kicked out here. But in spite of a pretty big butt kicking, one that seems so much harder than going to college or being abroad, I've managed some pretty big victories. Here are the highlights of the last 3 weeks... 

Battle #1: Me vs. Jet lag
I landed in Denver at 11:30 pm (3 hours late, 1:30 am Indianapolis time) on June 6 (7th) after an emotional last day of school. Despite being a mess, I was thrilled to see Aidan, and I was so excited that we were heading to the mountains for his cousin's wedding. Within 12 hours of landing in Denver, we were hiking in Estes Park! We spent the weekend marveling at the happy couple, taking in the breathtaking mountains, and enjoying the feeling of peace that comes from being around family.

 
Battle #2: Aidan and Me vs. the Cardboard
Aidan deserves a ton of credit because he did the majority of the unpacking and furniture arranging. Our kitchen was spotless and organized when I touched down in the Mile High City, and my clothes were unpacked and perfectly folded in the dresser. The rest of the place needed some work, and frankly I was excited for the challenge. So I took on the living room, getting my classroom stuff out of our house, and making our apartment look like home. I dare you to figure out a way to make concrete beams looking cozy and cute, and if you do, send ideas our way :) Here are the before and after pictures:

Battle #3: Me vs. Learning to be a student again while the World Cup is going on
I love learning, I love reading about things I am passionate about, and especially having been on the other end of it for four years, I love the opportunity to be a student again. However, when I had to read 250 pages for my first class, I struggled. Call it World Cup fever, call it being rusty, but I found something else to do every 5 minutes. Finding the balance has been a little tricky, but I'm slowly learning to make it work with a few study breaks built in!

Battle #4: Homesickness vs. Being Thankful

Home is far away. I knew that when we made this move, but some days it definitely hits more than others. In the past few weeks I have struggled with this, but I'm making the choice to find things to be grateful for. Between weddings, visits, and people who live in Denver, I have seen/will see more of my college friends than I have since I graduated. Add in the number of family and friends who are planning on visiting us, and our second bedroom is going to be a revolving door! And then there are those mountains... They surprise me every time I see them and are a constant reminder of how the world is so much bigger than me. Aidan got home from work on Friday, and within 40 minutes we were starting an 8 mile climb. We were home in time to meet a friend for dinner. We are talking about a trip to San Francisco in the fall and already have our skis ready to "shred the gnar." This move can be overwhelming, but I still believe there are great opportunities ahead. We plan to find every one of them! 

Dear Indianapolis

To my home, my love, and the most underrated place in the world, it is time for me to say goodbye. I'm not leaving forever, but I feel like I owe you a goodbye and some credit for bringing me to this point. I never understood the whole "Naptown" thing. Maybe you had grown up a lot before I was born. Maybe I was too young to understand what made Indy a sleepy city. Or maybe people from coastal metropolises just do not understand the beauty of it all.

Driving around the last few weeks, I have been taking it in and savoring each moment, the photographs in my mind that I need for the hard days. I drove to visit a friend at her new house, and within 10 minutes, I had driven through downtown, past bustling city streets, dodging pedestrians leaving work, and found myself in quiet farmland, weaving through country roads, watching the cows, and enjoying the corn begin to grow. There is something startlingly beautiful about watching the sun set over your fields. 

Aidan and I ate breakfast at Cafe Patachou a few weeks ago and began talking to a woman and her daughter, visiting from Boston. They made a comment that people here were "simple." Simple. As in stupid? Boring? Or centered? Genuine? I hope they meant that Hoosiers are the kind of people you want around you in good times and bad. The kind of people who drop everything to help you fix a flat tire or offer to carry your groceries to your car. I hope they noticed that Hoosiers are the kind of people who send you e-mails at 2 am, just to wish you well. They are the kind of people who put you on a plane to Colorado, reassure you that you are loved, and tell you that this adventure is going to be the best of your life. I hope that's what they meant.

Indianapolis, it's been real. I grew up during my first 17 years here, and the last 4 have changed my life. As I pack it all up, as I say some very difficult goodbyes, as I get on that plane, I can't help but think that there is so much more learning to be done. 

The Next Step

Life is funny. Two years to the day after I left for Paris, Aidan and I take our next step together. June 6th is the day that I leave Indianapolis and head straight for Denver, Colorado. Our life together and our journey has consisted of so many steps, highest of highs and lowest of lows, but this step is special. It is our first married adventure, and it is a decision that we made 100% together.  

When we made the decision to take Aidan's new assignment, it took quite a bit of processing, prayer, and convincing to really leap into this next chapter of our lives. Change isn't something I take lightly, and the decision to leave Indianapolis was difficult. Leaving Indy means leaving our families, friends, a job I love, and a community that feels like I could stay here forever (I say that sitting among boxes, bubble wrap, and a complete mess!). Leaving Indianapolis means a million unknowns, and a lot to worry about. Where will we live? Who will we meet? Where will I work? What if we don't fit in? What if we hate it? What if.... What if... What if...

I'm a superficial pessimist. When I'm afraid, I consider everything that could possibly go wrong, and I process my way through all of the possibilities. I guess you could say I hate being surprised by bad news. Deep down, however, I truly believe with all my heart that life always works out. I believe that the pieces fall into place, and somehow, miraculously in the last week, they have. I have accepted admission into graduate school and a new 4th grade teaching position, and my amazing husband has signed a lease for our new apartment after weeks of worry, travel across the country, and a huge deadline looming. The pieces found their way together, and as I sit in our condo for our last night here, with a million new things running through my head, I cannot help but smile. We are going to do this, and it is all going to be okay. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still afraid. I am asking questions daily and wondering what our next step will really look like. The moving trucks arrive tomorrow, and it is going to be bittersweet to close the door to our first home. As we've started packing, Aidan found notes exchanged between the two of us during the years we spent apart. One of them was written the day Aidan left for Paris. "I wonder what our 16 year old selves would say.." it starts. You know, I think they would be pleasantly surprised that it really did all work out. The pieces fell into place, and our journey is well on its way.