Monday, May 12, 2014

The Next Step

Life is funny. Two years to the day after I left for Paris, Aidan and I take our next step together. June 6th is the day that I leave Indianapolis and head straight for Denver, Colorado. Our life together and our journey has consisted of so many steps, highest of highs and lowest of lows, but this step is special. It is our first married adventure, and it is a decision that we made 100% together.  

When we made the decision to take Aidan's new assignment, it took quite a bit of processing, prayer, and convincing to really leap into this next chapter of our lives. Change isn't something I take lightly, and the decision to leave Indianapolis was difficult. Leaving Indy means leaving our families, friends, a job I love, and a community that feels like I could stay here forever (I say that sitting among boxes, bubble wrap, and a complete mess!). Leaving Indianapolis means a million unknowns, and a lot to worry about. Where will we live? Who will we meet? Where will I work? What if we don't fit in? What if we hate it? What if.... What if... What if...

I'm a superficial pessimist. When I'm afraid, I consider everything that could possibly go wrong, and I process my way through all of the possibilities. I guess you could say I hate being surprised by bad news. Deep down, however, I truly believe with all my heart that life always works out. I believe that the pieces fall into place, and somehow, miraculously in the last week, they have. I have accepted admission into graduate school and a new 4th grade teaching position, and my amazing husband has signed a lease for our new apartment after weeks of worry, travel across the country, and a huge deadline looming. The pieces found their way together, and as I sit in our condo for our last night here, with a million new things running through my head, I cannot help but smile. We are going to do this, and it is all going to be okay. 

Don't get me wrong, I'm still afraid. I am asking questions daily and wondering what our next step will really look like. The moving trucks arrive tomorrow, and it is going to be bittersweet to close the door to our first home. As we've started packing, Aidan found notes exchanged between the two of us during the years we spent apart. One of them was written the day Aidan left for Paris. "I wonder what our 16 year old selves would say.." it starts. You know, I think they would be pleasantly surprised that it really did all work out. The pieces fell into place, and our journey is well on its way.